Rabbi Sarah Zehavi finished her presentation before the Law Committee and asked her colleagues for questions and comments. Gripping the lectern tightly, she felt her benign heart murmur act up, and the climate system’s cool air felt frigid on her sweaty, nervous skin. She thought of her first legal opinion, a teshuvah, as the most important achievement of her rabbinic life. She titled it, “On the Halakhic status of Human-Centaurian Offspring born to Jewish Women,”

Jonathan Berlin, well known as the Law Committee’s curmudgeon, raised his obese hand. His physique and general appearance — squat, ball-like, and excessively hairy, reminded her of Proxima Perry, a holotoon character she’d watched as a kid on Starbase Gamma.

“Sarah, this teshuvah of yours is total narushkeit and you know it,” Jon hissed.

“Pardon me?” Sarah asked.

“You heard me. What you’re suggesting is 100% narushkeit.”

“I’m sorry, my Yiddish is a little rusty. Not every Jew has your Ashkenazi bona fides.”

“Fine, I’ll say it in English,” Jon said. “What you’re arguing is pure bullshit with no connection to Jewish law as it has been understood for thousands of years. You have no business sitting on the Law Committee if you’re going to push us toward anarchy with crap like this.”

“Jon, please, I’ve asked you many times to treat your colleagues with respect,” David Yerushalmi said. “As the chair of the Law Committee, it’s my responsibility to make sure that we’re all at least civil to each other even and especially when we…